Monday, 5 September 2016

Reasons 1 to 5 of 100 reasons people decide not to have children (in this day and age)

We truly live in exciting, fast paced times. People have become more career driven and advances such as the internet and cellular phones have made it easier than ever before to push ourselves beyond the traditional 9 to 5 regime.  

Not only that but thanks to medical advances and the trend to live healthier (often gluten free) lives, people are ageing slower and living longer.

Gone are most traditional ways of living and thinking. So much so that fewer and fewer people are getting married or even having children for that matter. 

In fact, I am one of those people. Although I did follow the tradition of getting married, we (my husband and I) decided jointly years ago that we would not be reproducing. 

Many people have frowned upon us for making this life choice and just as many have followed the same path in life. 

You might be one of those people who are stuck in the middle and cannot decide which choice is right for you. This is a decision that only you can make for yourself, however, I can share with you a few of the reasons (one hundred to be precise), why I, as well as so many others, have decided to remain child-free. 

Since listing one hundred reasons, with brief explanations, can turn into quite a lengthy business, I will be listing these reasons in a few blog postings over the course of the next couple of weeks (so be sure to check back regularly if this topic is of interest to you). 

Here is, reason 1 to 5 of 100 reasons why people decide not to have children:

1. Having and raising a child is very expensive: - From the day you find out you are pregnant the financial implications start (since you had to pay for your pregnancy test or doctors visit to find out if you are indeed pregnant), and carry on for at least 22 years (until your child is out of university/college) - if you are lucky. Some people are forced to carry their children financially well beyond the age of thirty these days, due to the effects of the global recession on job creation/loss. 

2. Children tend to take over your whole life and being: - Let's face it. Parents tend to always put their children, as well as the needs of their children, above themselves and their own needs. So much so that they (parents) even feel guilty and selfish if they allow themselves to enjoy anything without their children. Some might call me selfish, but I choose to live my life by putting myself first, since it is MY life after all. 

3. Having children means having to follow a set routine: - Any child specialist or early childhood development professional/teacher (such as myself), will tell you of the importance of a regular routine to aid in healthy child development. This would mean routines such as set meal, bath, play and sleeping times. Gone will be the days of getting home from work, ordering take-out food and then just laying in front of the television until you fall asleep. In other words, be prepared to give up your easy going, unplanned, happy-go-lucky existence, if you decide on having a child. 

4. Having a child means having to see and deal with your family/in-laws more: - Most people prefer only seeing their families/in-laws one or two weekends a month. Also, like me, many people don't like others sticking their noses in their business. If you have children however, expect to see much, much more of your family and get used to having everyone give their opinions and advice on just about everything regarding all facets of your life (as well as your child's life). 

5. Having a child means saying goodbye to spontaneous vacations or weekends away: - In fact, if you have children, say hello to overcrowded, expensive high season vacations only (since you will only be able to take trips during school holidays/breaks). Unless you are willing to send your kids off to your parents each time you have a whim to break-away. 

And there you have the first five reasons why some of us choose not to have children. Don't get me wrong though, I do view children as a blessing, just not a blessing meant for me. My reasons are in no way meant to offend anyone, they are simply a list of facts based on how many of us out there feel. 

Check back soon for the next set/list of reasons, till then take care and be safe.

Debbie Nel


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