Friday, 30 September 2016

Weekend Lifestyle: Pamper yourself at home (at a fraction of the cost of a health spa)

We all deserve a little pampering now and again but unfortunately most of us can't afford the ridiculous prices charged at salons or spas. So, why not create the salon/spa experience at home for yourself?

It is a lot cheaper than you think and all you need are a few "investment pieces" to start you out. These include:

1. A foot spa
2. A face steamer
3. A face massager (with various brushes for cleansing and attachments for massaging)
4. Aromatherapy bath oils
5. Face masks (or a fresh avocado pear each round)
6. A manicure set (nail file, nail scissors. pumice stone and/or electronic foot/hand file)          
7. Nail polish

Still sound a bit expensive to you? Well not really. Remember, you will only need to purchase most of the listed items once and the rest (such as the bath oils, face masks and nail polish) should ensure you at least a few treatments before a repurchase is needed. Also, you can build up a collection of the items as you go along and you don't need to purchase all at once. You can then just create "mini spa/salon" days for yourself at home until you own all the items. The list is by no means extensive and you can add any items you see fit.

On the days when you plan to give yourself treatments (or home spa/salon days as I like to call them), make sure that you "book" yourself out for a few hours and that everyone in your household knows not to disturb you (unless there is an emergency). Play soft music in the background, put on your favourite robe/gown and slippers, open a good bottle of wine and proceed with the pampering. You can do your treatments in any order but I have found that the following order works best for me:

1. Pedicure (soak your feet in the foot spa, file your toe nails and then remove dead skin from your feet using the pumice stone).
2. Manicure (soak your hands in a warm bowl of water and then file your finger nails).
3. Face steaming session (using the facial steamer).
4. Face cleansing and massaging session (using the cleansing and massaging attachments of the facial massager).
5. Face mask and aromatherapy bath
6. Manicure and pedicure round off (nail painting)

Once done for the day I usually treat myself to a nice big green salad to round off the spa experience. Here is the recipe for my favourite green salad (just mix all the ingredients together in a glass bowl):

2 Ripe avocado pears (diced)
2 Large pickles/gherkins (sliced into rounds)
4 Lettuce leaves (shredded into pieces)
1/4 Green pepper (chopped into small pieces
1 English cucumber (sliced into half rounds)
1/2 Cup green olives

Enjoy your pampering!

Extra note: This works well for both women and men, so come on boys, give it a try! You will be amazed at how relaxed you feel afterwards.

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Sunday, 18 September 2016

Reasons 33 to 100 of 100 reasons people decide not to have children (in this day and age)

So folks, as mentioned in my previous posting (Reasons 11 to 32 of 100 reasons people decide not to have children), I will be finishing off this series, with this, the last posting, listing the final less detailed and elaborate reasons, people might decide not to have offspring. 

Here is, reasons 33 to 100 of 100 reasons people decide not to have children (in this day and age)

Having a child might mean/cause:

33. Less sex (since you will be exhausted all the time)
34. Lack of sleep/sleep deprivation
35. An unhealthy diet (since you are so pressed for time that fast food becomes the norm)
36. Depression 
37. Anxiety
38. Premature ageing
39. No alone/personal time (even having time to take a shower alone could be challenging)

Having no kids means being able to look forward to:

40. An early retirement (if you so wish)
41. A yard free from ugly red, blue and yellow plastic furniture, slides, jungle gyms et cetera. 
42. Long bubble baths in the evening 
43. Relaxing with a glass (or bottle) of wine after work
44. Sleeping late on weekends
45. Adult Christmas, New Year's or dinner parties
46. A flourishing career (if you wish to put the hours in)

Having no children means never having to:

47. Hire a babysitter or ask your friends/family to look after your kids (just so you can leave the house)
48. Put your foot in a school yard ever again (if you so wish)
49. Hide your head in shame when your kid blabs out an embarrassing secret about you
50. Watch Barney the dinosaur (unless you are into that sort of thing)
51. Stick a suppository up someone else's butt (again I say, unless you are into that sort of thing)
52. Brush someone else's teeth or wipe their rear end
53. Awaken to the sounds of a screaming baby (unless you choose to babysit another child that is)

Being child-free means you will:

54. Have the money to be able to further your own studies if you so wish
55. Actually have the time to study further
56. Be able to take up interesting hobbies and pursue other interests
57. Most likely live longer (due to less stress and worries)
58. Be able to wear nice clothes and have expensive furniture without worrying that they will be ruined 
59. Have peace and quiet at home (unless you, yourself feel like making some noise by blaring the stereo at high volume)
60. Have more time to spend with/on your pets
61. Have more space/money to adopt (and save) shelter animals

Not ever being pregnant means that, in addition to the points mentioned already in point 6:

62. You won't have to endure nine months of bloating
63. You won't have to experience morning sickness
64. You won't have to experience the agony that is childbirth

If you remain childless, come retirement age you will:

65. Have enough money to retire comfortably
66. Not have to worry about your adult children needing to move in with you again (due to job loss etc.)
67. Not have to face the reality of a possible dead beat child (who never even moved out) still living with you
68. Not have to face your children bickering over where you will live or whom you will live with
69. Be able to retire to/in any destination you wish (since you won't have kids forcing you to stay in the towns they are living, because it is "safer" and/or "more practical")
70. Not have to endure being treated like a child by your now adult children (I see this happening all the time and I find it so ironic)

Childless couples never have to worry that after their death:

71. Their children will bicker amongst each other about who gets what
72. Their grandchildren will feel as if their siblings or cousins got more than they did (in the will)
73. Their children will fight over possession of "the family house" or "the family jewellery" 
74. Their children will be able to cope (mentally and financially)
75. Their children will (ever) be hurt
76. Their grandchildren will (ever) be hurt

And finally, in general, childless couples don't have to face/worry about:

77. Anyone, ever teasing or bullying their kid
78. Their child getting pregnant (or getting someone pregnant) while still in school or studying
79. Their child falling into the wrong crowd
80. Their child doing or becoming addicted to drugs
81. Their child becoming ill
82. Their child being born with a disability/special need
83. Their child not "fitting" in
84. Their child making good grades
85. Their child getting into trouble at school 
86. Their child getting arrested (see point 9)
87. Their child getting into a fight with another child
88. Their child turning against them
89. Their children turning against each other
90. Their child dating someone they (the parents) don't like
91. Their child marrying someone they (the parents) don't like
92. The costs of a child's wedding
93. The costs of having to buy a child their first car
94. The burden of having to clean up after a small child or lazy older child (or adult child)
95. The burden of having to do endless mounds of child created washing and ironing
96. The burden of having to help raise and look after their children's children (grand kids)
97. The hassle of having to teach their children to drive
98. The hassle of having to deal with teenage mood swings and hormones
99. The hassle of having to deal with toddlers in their terrible two's
100. The ungratefulness and selfishness modern teens/children tend to exhibit

And there you have it, 100 reasons why some people decide that it is better for them not to have children.  

As I have stated before, I have no problem with kids and I adore my nieces and nephews, however having children is just something that some people were just not meant for. 

I hope you enjoyed this series. 

Till next time

Debbie Nel

Mortal Life Modes

Wednesday, 14 September 2016

Happiness Tip - Cut out all negative people in your life - (even if you are related to them)

This part of the statement/quote, "You can choose your friends but you sho' can't choose your family", made by Harper Lee, sure rings true! We indeed cannot unfortunately pick our families. 

Sometimes we get lucky and are born into amazing families with amazing people in them, and other times we don't quite hit the jackpot. 

Some families are so horrid that the people in them treat each other worse than enemies would. Jealousy being the biggest factor here I have seen. It is so sad to think that members of our own families would be so jealous of us that they would try and make our lives a living hell just for the sake of feeling better about themselves. 

Unfortunately, however, we cannot change this and our families are still our families and we are meant to love, honour and respect them no matter what...... Right? WRONG! 

Today I am going to tell you something that just might change your life forever. Yes, it is true that our families are our blood, our kin. However, this does not mean you have to automatically just like/love everyone in your family and take all their crap. 

Our Makers intention for us is to live a good, wholesome life and even though families are huge in the bible and all sorts of religions for that matter, I seriously doubt our Creator would want us to keep negative elements in our lives. 

Look at it this way. Say for example you are someone who was severely abused as a child (mentally/emotionally or physically), do you think it would be expected of you to just get over this fact and treat your parents as if they are the world's best parents? I think not. It would be much healthier for you to just cut them out so that you can truly heal. Now I know some radical cult type religion followers will strongly disagree with this statement, but if you have ever read the whole bible (or any holy scripture/book for that matter), and put all the pieces together, you will realise that it DOES in fact boil down to the following:

1. Do not commit murder/rape
2. Live a good, wholesome life in which you are fair to others
3. Do not steal
4. Have respect for nature and all living things
5. Have respect for yourself and your body
6. Acknowledge and be grateful towards your maker

The list is in no way extensive, it is just an example given of the just of things. It is simple. If it is good, do it/follow it. If it is negative, cut it out. This includes ALL people who are making your life hell. 

We all in anyhow know that blood is not what makes a family. So many people have the world's greatest parents, siblings or extended families, even though they share no DNA with each other. What makes a real family, is true, unselfish love. 

So next time, for example, you achieve a great feat in life and someone in your "family" breaks you down instead of praising you for it, remember this article/posting and do the following:

Step 1 - smile broadly
Step 2 - ignore all statements
Step 3 - block that person out of your life for good
Step 4 - notice how much more stress free, calm and relaxing your life becomes

We are all precious like diamonds. Therefore we deserve to surround ourselves with gold, and not mud (even if we come from the same mine as where the mud is laying).


Reasons 11 to 32 of 100 reasons people decide not to have children (in this day and age)

In my previous two postings (Reasons 1 to 5 and Reasons 6 to 10 of 100 reasons people decide not to have children), I listed the first ten reasons more and more people are choosing to stay child-free. In this posting however, I am going to list the next twenty two reasons, since so many of my readers have been contacting me, requesting that I up the amount of reasons I submit each time.

So here is, reason 11 to 32 of 100 reasons why people decide not to have children:

11. The world is already grossly overpopulated and having a child would further add to the problem.

12. Bringing more people into this world means you are adding to the carbon footprint. 

13. Having children can aid strain to your marriage (since you won't have much time or energy left to give each other attention anymore). 

14. Having a child means having no designer digs (let's face it, Dior sofa's and baby's don't mix).

15. Having a child with someone will bind you to them (and their families) forever. 

16. Having children might mean having to see your friends pull away (due to you not really having much time left for your friends and/or your friends feeling overwhelmed by your children). 

17. Having a child means dealing with tantrums.

18. Having a child means having to do homework again.

19. Having a child means you have to watch your language use (at ALL times). 

20. Small children and pets don't mix, so having a baby/toddler means you should expect your animals to endure some form of abuse (from your kids), which would be inhumane of you.

21. The world has become a very cruel place with a very uncertain future. Having kids means exposing them to this uncertainty. 

22. Children almost always mean a messy house (so if you are a neatness freak or you have an obsessive compulsive disorder, expect this to drive you insane).

23. Having children means having to childproof your house (no fancy sharp edge tables or glass surfaces et cetera). 

24. Having children means having to eliminate all poisonous plants, or plants with thorns, or plants that can cause allergies in your garden. Since around 90 percent of pretty plants are poisonous, having kids means having a bland garden (note that many children are allergic to grass so you can expect to have a grass free yard as well). 

25. Your children might carry your family's flawed genetic traits such as mental illness or genes for diseases such as Crohn's or cancer.

26. Any of us can die at any moment in time. If tragedy were to befall you, who would then look after your children?

27. There are so many paedophiles and sex offenders in the world, how can anyone say with absolute certainty that their children won't ever come into contact with such people? 

28. Having kid's means having to keep your own emotions in check. No more bursting out into tears or throwing your own little mini tantrum when something upsets you, as this will just upset (and possibly "scar") your child. 

29. Having a child means having to endure childhood illnesses (and possibly getting sick often yourself from the spread of the germs). 

30. Having a child means you cannot drive a sports car (hello minivan or child safe sedans).

31. Having kids means saying goodbye to eating in certain fancy restaurants on a whim.

32. Having kids means not being allowed to stay in certain hotels or resorts (since many are disallowing children these days). 

With this we have come to the end of reasons 11 to 32. In my next posting I will be listing the final, less detailed and elaborate reasons, why so many are choosing to remain childless. 

Till then, 

Debbie Nel

Friday, 9 September 2016

Reasons 6 to 10 of 100 reasons people decide not to have children (in this day and age)

In my last posting, I listed the first five (5) reasons why many people, in this day and age, decide not to have children. Without further ado, as promised, here is the next list of five reasons (out of a hundred), why many are choosing to live a child-free existence. 

Reason 6 to 10 of 100 reasons why people decide not to have children:

6. Having a child can damage your body/health: - For instance, a woman's breasts (due to sagging) and skin (due to stretch marks), will never be the same again, unless of course you are of the lucky few who escape this reality completely due to good genetics and/or minimal weight gain et cetera. Pregnancy can also place enormous strain on your organs, such as your heart, which could result in many complications during your pregnancy or later in life. One such disorder (of the heart) that pregnancy can cause, is Peripartum Cardiomyopathy. To find out more about this syndrome, just make use of Google search, since the internet has a wealth of information regarding it. 

7. Losing a child to death will scar a parent forever: - Many have said that one of the worst trauma's one can face in life, is the death of a child. I can vouch for this since I personally know many people who lost a child at some point in their lives, and this reality is as painful for them now, as it was the day the tragedy took place. Now my philosophy in life is, you cannot miss what you do not have/know, therefore the only way to ensure you can never suffer the loss of a child is to never have one in the first place. 

8. No matter how good a parent you are, your child might grow up resenting you: - How often have we all heard people blaming their parents for most of their problems/issues in life? No matter how good we think we are at being parents, we cannot be perfect 100 percent of the time. Due to this we cannot be certain that even our smallest mistakes won't somehow have a lasting effect on our child. For example, say that due to an unforeseen meeting you were unable to attend your child's prize-giving at school. This might not seem like a big deal to you but your child might not see it that way. Junior might grow up despising all types of award ceremonies, blaming you for this fact, just because you did not attend one simple little prize-giving when he/she was a child. This might sound very unlikely to you but trust me when I say that people have an extraordinary tendency to blame others for the strangest things in life (especially their parents). 

9. Your little darling child could grow up to be a criminal: - Nature and nurture are only a part of it. No matter how hard we try to raise our children the right way, there is no telling the adult he/she will become one day. Remember, even the worse serial killers of all time were once somebody's child. 

10. Having a child means being prepared to deal with blood, puke, poo and pee: - Sorry for being so blunt but there is no other way of putting it. If you are the squeamish sort, then forget about being a parent (unless you are prepared to get over your aversions in some or other way). A good way to test yourself is to hang around or babysit, your friends babies. If after the first (poo) nappy change you don't feel like puking yourself, then kudos to you, you might just have what it takes to be a parent after all. 

That's it for now. Remember to check back soon for the next set/list of reasons. 

Take care and be safe

Debbie Nel

Monday, 5 September 2016

Reasons 1 to 5 of 100 reasons people decide not to have children (in this day and age)

We truly live in exciting, fast paced times. People have become more career driven and advances such as the internet and cellular phones have made it easier than ever before to push ourselves beyond the traditional 9 to 5 regime.  

Not only that but thanks to medical advances and the trend to live healthier (often gluten free) lives, people are ageing slower and living longer.

Gone are most traditional ways of living and thinking. So much so that fewer and fewer people are getting married or even having children for that matter. 

In fact, I am one of those people. Although I did follow the tradition of getting married, we (my husband and I) decided jointly years ago that we would not be reproducing. 

Many people have frowned upon us for making this life choice and just as many have followed the same path in life. 

You might be one of those people who are stuck in the middle and cannot decide which choice is right for you. This is a decision that only you can make for yourself, however, I can share with you a few of the reasons (one hundred to be precise), why I, as well as so many others, have decided to remain child-free. 

Since listing one hundred reasons, with brief explanations, can turn into quite a lengthy business, I will be listing these reasons in a few blog postings over the course of the next couple of weeks (so be sure to check back regularly if this topic is of interest to you). 

Here is, reason 1 to 5 of 100 reasons why people decide not to have children:

1. Having and raising a child is very expensive: - From the day you find out you are pregnant the financial implications start (since you had to pay for your pregnancy test or doctors visit to find out if you are indeed pregnant), and carry on for at least 22 years (until your child is out of university/college) - if you are lucky. Some people are forced to carry their children financially well beyond the age of thirty these days, due to the effects of the global recession on job creation/loss. 

2. Children tend to take over your whole life and being: - Let's face it. Parents tend to always put their children, as well as the needs of their children, above themselves and their own needs. So much so that they (parents) even feel guilty and selfish if they allow themselves to enjoy anything without their children. Some might call me selfish, but I choose to live my life by putting myself first, since it is MY life after all. 

3. Having children means having to follow a set routine: - Any child specialist or early childhood development professional/teacher (such as myself), will tell you of the importance of a regular routine to aid in healthy child development. This would mean routines such as set meal, bath, play and sleeping times. Gone will be the days of getting home from work, ordering take-out food and then just laying in front of the television until you fall asleep. In other words, be prepared to give up your easy going, unplanned, happy-go-lucky existence, if you decide on having a child. 

4. Having a child means having to see and deal with your family/in-laws more: - Most people prefer only seeing their families/in-laws one or two weekends a month. Also, like me, many people don't like others sticking their noses in their business. If you have children however, expect to see much, much more of your family and get used to having everyone give their opinions and advice on just about everything regarding all facets of your life (as well as your child's life). 

5. Having a child means saying goodbye to spontaneous vacations or weekends away: - In fact, if you have children, say hello to overcrowded, expensive high season vacations only (since you will only be able to take trips during school holidays/breaks). Unless you are willing to send your kids off to your parents each time you have a whim to break-away. 

And there you have the first five reasons why some of us choose not to have children. Don't get me wrong though, I do view children as a blessing, just not a blessing meant for me. My reasons are in no way meant to offend anyone, they are simply a list of facts based on how many of us out there feel. 

Check back soon for the next set/list of reasons, till then take care and be safe.

Debbie Nel