Friday, 4 November 2016

Life/Love Challenges: The easiest way to break up with someone

We all have to face the "not so nice" issue of having to break up with someone at least once in our lives. It is a subject so awkward in nature that many tend to stay in loveless relationships, due to the fact that breakups in general are such a "trip to hell and back".

Today I am going to make your life a little simpler by telling you that there is indeed an easier way to face the awful reality, of having to break if off with someone that it just isn't working out with (without having to skip the country).

The main trick is to plan the "event" very carefully and practice what you are going to say (and do) in advance. That way you will come across as being more sincere and less like a jerk.

When you are planning the "breakup event", be sure to pick a neutral spot with no significance to your relationship. In other words, a non-romantic, very public place, without connotations to your doomed romance. Remember, we don't want the other party to get the wrong idea and assume that this is some kind of special date you have planned (or even worse, a proposal).

As you are planning on what you are going to say, take note to be honest but not too harsh in your wording. Try and "tone down" the truth a bit. Meaning, be as honest as possible, without being too honest, aka tell a "nicer" version of the truth.

It is always a good idea to blame yourself in your speech, as opposed to telling a toned down and nicer truth, but just don't use the classic "it’s not you it’s me cliché", which must be the oldest one in the book (as well as the worst). Rather say something in the lines of, "I am in such a bad place mentally right now that it won't be fair to you if we stay in this relationship at this point in time. All I am going to do is mess up your life and trust me you will learn to resent me for it. We can always try and resume things at a later stage when I am in a better frame of mind". This might sound cheesy and it might be totally untrue, however it is much better than saying to someone, "hey, I want to break up because you suck".

If you go about things in a nice way the other person will react to the news much better. Be warned though that you do get a few types of people that will fly off at you regardless of the way you go about all this, but by breaking up in a "nicer" way, the normal future resentment that comes with breakups is not likely to stick. 

Just don't ever make the mistake of trying to break up with someone over the phone, via a text or via any other non face to face form. This is bound to turn out badly and it will make you look like someone who doesn't care at all. 

Use compassion, plan decently, blame yourself or tell a toned down truth, act as if you do care about the other persons’ feelings and make sure you go about things in an overall nice way. This will guarantee you the least painful and smoothest split possible.

Good luck and may you have better fortune in finding true love in the future.


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