Monday, 24 October 2016

Love Life: Don't go chasing love, let love find you!

In a previous post namely; "Mental Health: Do you feel unsatisfied with your life?", I mentioned how we all deserve to have fantastic (romantic) relationships. This made me think about a mistake that so many people make in their love lives. People go "running after love".

Everyone has a perfect match somewhere out there, unfortunately the tricky part tends to be finding them. Just don't go out "looking for love" though. In my opinion this is one of the worst things you can do (and one of the main reasons for sky high worldwide divorce rates). 

I am very fortunate and blessed when it comes to love, but there is one simple reason for this. I never went chasing after love. I simply let love find me. 

When we are lonely, we tend to make hasty decisions regarding love and if you go out looking for love just because you cannot take being alone any more, you are bound to land up with the wrong person. Yes it might be true that in some cases, people have managed to find their soul mates in this way, however, this is very rare. The chances of landing up with someone you are likely to call your ex one day is much, much more likely when you go about things in this manner.

You see the trick to finding your soul mate is firstly getting to know the person, before you can start falling in love with them, or before you can really say you are in love. Ask yourself, how can you honestly say you love someone if you don't really know anything about them yet? There is no such thing as true love at first sight. Love is something that needs to be built up (and continuously built onto).

When we are lonely or on the rebound, anyone is bound to look good in our eyes because in our subconscious we are so desperate, we are telling ourselves how amazing they are or how perfect they seem for us. This is the danger we face when we go out looking for love or romantic relationships. We jump and rush in. 

Don't rush into things! True love takes time! Remember, there is a huge difference between real love, lust, attraction and temporary passion. Don't be blindsided! Just look at the relationships of celebrities and then compare those to the relationship your grandpa and grandma had or even the relationship your parents have (if they are still married to each other). Trust me, you will notice the huge difference. 

"But I am lonely", some might say. This is no excuse. If you are really that lonely, spend time with family, friends, or take up a new hobby. Just don't go out trying to find love. Love will find you when the time is right.

But just how do we then allow love to find us? It is simple. Go out, visit with your family and friends, take on new hobbies, just live your life and don't be an indoors house hermit. You are bound to meet new people this way and get to know others you might have already met better, and who knows, just one of them might land up being THE ONE (once you have taken the time to get to know them better and love blossoms naturally of course). Socialise as much as possible! Interaction with others is the key here to make this all work. 

Bear in mind though, that when I say Interaction, I mean real, physical interaction and not conversing on social media. This is looking for trouble because no one is their "real selves" on these platforms. The only way to honestly and truly get to know someone on a deeper level is by mixing with them in person, and not through typing to each other. 

Go on, get mingling and remember that life is short so do things the right way and spare yourself unnecessary heartache and hassles.


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